February 19, 2011

A RWNJ's Guide on How to Argue with Liberals on Twitter

[You can read the updated 2013 edition of this list here.

It can be hard to remember all of the important elements involved in arguing with a liberal, but here is a handy checklist to make sure you've included all of the pieces essential to maintaining the purity of the RWNJ brand.
  1. Whatever FOX says, you say. When in doubt, watch Glenn Beck.
  2. Incorporate the #fox, #glennbeck or #tcot hashtag in every tweet, because by calling forth other RWNJs to also attack your opponent, you'll never have to give a real answer for anything.
  3. If a liberal asks you to provide a source for any claim you have made to prove it is a fact, always respond: "Do your own research!!" or "I'm not going to do your research for you." That way, you don't have to do any research.
  4. If you feel you must send them a source link, make sure it is only a link from a right-wing blog or op-ed piece. It doesn't matter if you've read it.
  5. It is also helpful to have a ready list of links on-hand that are completely unrelated to the topic of discussion to flood your opponent's @replies with. Again, it doesn't matter if you've read them.
  6. If you're unsure about how to start a tweet, try "Why don't you ask Obama/Reid/Pelosi why..." That should get your creative juices flowing.
  7. All of your tweets (whether you are in a debate or not) should contain at least one insulting name for liberals. Libtard is a favorite, but it is getting a bit less effective from constant overuse. I suggest the more modern twist, Libturd.
  8. Stay away from facts. Facts are only opinions reinforced by truth.
  9. Never answer a question. The best way to counter the left's expectation for meaningful dialogue is to ask them an unrelated question in return, such as "Why do you like to kill unborn babies?"
  10. Make sure each of your tweets is riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. After all, you wouldn't want anyone to be able to accuse you of being one of the "intellectual elite".
  11. Each of your tweets should include one of the RWNJ signature terms - commie, Marxist, socialist, or Nazi. You may use them interchangeably to keep things fresh. To keep up on the latest trend, trying using "Caliphate" or "sharia law".
  12. Mention Soros.
  13. Sprinkle the terms "Patriot," "Constitution," "liberty" and "freedom" here and there to constantly remind others that you're a real American, even when you're not acting like one.
What's most important to remember is that as a RWNJ, you have an image to uphold and a duty to build yourself up by putting others down. For freedom.

[You can read the updated 2013 edition of this list here.]


  1. Can I add one: 14. Lie. Everyone knows that if you can't lie, you can't win.

  2. Don't forget, as a RWNJ, you must insinuate (that means imply, for the right-wingers reading this) (uh, imply means "make it seem like", for the right-wingers reading the previous explanation) that the "Libturd" would "see the truth" if their IQ wasn't so low- make it clear you have a 250 IQ compared to their 23 IQ.

    When the "Libturd" shows you a scan of their Mensa card in response, try NOT to make it seem to hasty when getting the Hell out of there. Make a quip about how you won- then you're free to go hide in your room, petting your favorite University of Michigan sweatshirt you wear everywhere while dreaming of how you had gone to something more than community college for a semester.

  3. This is an Epic Win. Love this.


  4. #11 You let out Islamofascist! I think it's a wonderfully evocative term.

  5. Very impressive and absolutely right

  6. # You must also claim immediate victory in a twitter argument if your liberal opponent does any of the following...

    - Block you because arguing with you is about as productive as arguing with a special needs chimpanzee (apologies to all of the special needs chimpanzees I just insulted).

    - Fail to respond to your last tweet within 8 hours because, unlike you, they actually have a life that doesn't involve engaging in childish twitter arguments.

  7. Can I add #15? If all else fails, bring up obesity. Your wife is fat, you are fat, your friends are fat - doesn't matter. At some point you can predict these arguments will ALWAYS go there.

  8. #16 Always quote M.L.K. when talking to a GANG I mean group of blacks..

  9. Remember to start at least one comment with "I love God" to make sure the implication is that your opponent hates god, because they didn't post it before you.

  10. I love this list. I'm also keenly aware that LWNJs can also be just as guilty of using some of the same tactics. Debate ought to be a requirement for high school. When I see nut jobs of any bent getting censored through name calling etc, often I try to improve the dialog, stand up for underdog and encourage a more open approach, or if that doesn't work I'll smack down the one with the weaker argument, usually it's the one who started calling names first.